MY BIGGEST FEAR: FAILURE
My biggest fear: failure. Sure, being a mom is by no means "easy", nor familiar, in fact it's ever-changing, but for some reason it didn't scare me nearly as much as starting my own business and something I believe in so much.
Perhaps I wasn't afraid of failing at motherhood because I have no shortness of love to give which in itself is something that comes natural to me. I have this urge to overflow my 6-year-old daughter, Gabby's cup of love with more than I could have ever imagined receiving as a kid. And thank GOODNESS I've figured out that Gab and I have a super important ingredient in common — the *Love Language: Physical Touch, because when either of us need a little pick-me-up, we hug it out. Now, she doesn't share my second: Words of Affirmation. I can't tell you how many bedtime routines go a little something like this: "Goodnight Gabby, I love you", "Goodnight mama", "Eh hem! ... I love youu...", "ok, mama", "I saiddd ... I LOVEEEE YouuuuUUuUu"... "ok, ok mama, I love you too". (Now I feel complete!) *And if you don't know The 5 Love Languages, please do yourself and loved ones a favor by checking it out! www.5lovelanguages.com Mind. Blown. Wow, why don't they teach this in school?!? You learn how to love each other based off each other's individual needs, amazing. Luckily, I know mine pretty well and have been in tune to find out Gab's).
But this big "F" word has me scared.
So, I figure, why not treat the start of my business venture like dating. When I started dating after getting divorced last year, the thought of entering the dating world after being with someone for 15 years was terrifying! I figured the best approach was to lay it alllll out there so there were no surprises, ha! (It makes it much easier to deal with rejections too!) It went a little something like this: "I'm SUPER emotional", "ok, I get it", "No, you don't really... I'm WAY more than most!" <-- ok, maybe I didn't enunciate the "WAY" enough, ooopsy! So to that, I added things like, I talk a lot (self-admitted text bomber here!), and most importantly – I love hard and wear my heart on my sleeve. The list continued on ...
With this business I'm doing the same. Hello, nice to meet you, I'm Tiffany and I'm not perfect, and am figuring things out (a lot) as I go. I'm Wholeheartedly putting everything I have into creating something that represents so much for me and hopefully for those who share the same passion in that all of our life experiences, our "pieces" as I call them, make us "whole" and who we are today. Without them we probably wouldn't be who we are today - I know I wouldn't. I've learned to try and look for the good and/or lesson (albeit 'silver lining) in everything since life is full of a lot of heavy and deep experiences that can weigh us down ... if we let them. Wholeheartedly is a brand that encourages us to embrace all of our life experiences and wear them with pride. The jewelry, prints and tees symbolize pieces that mean something different to everyone.
I'll be honest - which I always am — I'm scared as hell to fail,
but probably worse than failing would be never trying and having those lingering thoughts that will keep me up WAY later than I already am every night, "what IF I had just tried"... and, after all they always say, if you can't get something out of your head, you just have to go for it! Ok, going back to that little daughter of mine, that I wasn't nearly AS scared to have - she's my motivator, my little bright light at the end of the day, my reason to smile when sometimes, I just want to cry — and she's why I can face this fear head on. The "fear" of letting her down is MUCH greater than "failure" itself and being able to teach her that I'll probably fall along the way, but what matters is how many times I dusted myself off and try, tried again.
You see, my little Leo doesn't forget anything I tell her. She also always knows that I keep my word - this is something I made a promise to myself when I became a parent - never let her down and if I can't follow through, be honest and straightforward, always. Period. So, when's she's constantly asking me, "Mama, why are you working so late and/or on the weekend," or "Why can't I just go straight home after school and not go to aftercare like so and so," I tell her: "Baby, because mama is going to show you what following your dreams and a good bit of consistent hard work can do and baby, one day, I'll be able to greet you at that school bus everyday (or at least most!).
And for all of you out there who are wanting to jump into starting a business or something for yourself - I can tell you that this is one of the other main reasons why I'm sharing so much of myself (well, also because it's my nature) but I've always felt like I've had a bigger purpose in life. I've shared so many of my personal stories, my "pieces" to people over some pretty tough times I've been through and so often people have let me know - maybe not even immediately - but a year later, that it helped them out in some way, shape, form or another. Or me just being "real" helped them see they weren't alone in something. If I can help even ONE person (or bring a smile on behalf of my silly mishaps and stories), then job is done! I'm happy.
I hope to be able to share all of my mistakes and successes along with you.
Without mistakes, you'd never be able to learn honestly, that's how I learn best. I want to be able to help others out along the way and show women that they CAN achieve whatever it is they are dreaming of or think they can't do. Through my journey I have reached out to several other "small business" women entrepreneurs for advice or even just to pick their brains and let me sadly tell y0u - I haven't gotten many replies. Sure, it could be because I can't help writing novel-long emails (thank you BLOG - I HAVE an outlet, finally!!), nonetheless, I feel like we women don't truly help each other out enough. We've all been there - trying to get your business (whatever it is) started isn't easy and I'm going through it now, but I'll be the first to offer up guidance whenever I possibly can in order to help others out. I will also be donating a portion of my proceeds to an organization that will help women do just that! I'm still researching this (so if you have any good ones, please drop me a comment!) but I vow to help other women realize their dreams as much as I can. I've been my own little cheerleader through this and of course reached out to so many people in my life but sometimes you just want to hear it from someone who's going through it and who gets ya. ;) The hustle IS real.
Well, there you have it ... I rambled enough on this "first date" quite a bit and told you all about my biggest fear - and considering this is my biggest fear I am going to hit "Publish Post" and just go with it ...
So, cheers and hope you all enjoy getting to know me before I launch (and during, and throughout!) ... and hope I've made it to the second date! :)
Wholeheartedly,
Tiffany xox
